Welcome to my blog. I spend half my life in coffee shops having honest conversations about how following Jesus works in real life. So, let’s learn together, grab a cup and – join the conversation.

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I’ll post every Monday and invite you to weigh in.

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Quick Bio
I’m a businessman, elder in one of the more conservative mega churches in Grand Rapids, Michigan and for over 25 years a full time spiritual mentor of men. I love introducing people to Jesus and truth from God’s perspective. I’m also an NPR listener and student of our culture because I want to understand how the world and a younger generation think, so I’m prepared to engage in conversations which are true to the Bible, intellectually honest and gracious.

Following Jesus is the only hope I have of living this life with purpose, energy and expectation. I hope to end my days on earth still meeting young men at Starbucks who have no interest in God, being the patriarch of my family, cheering them on to godliness, making sad people smile and the lonely – laugh, giving the poor hope, pointing wayward men back to their families, teaching the whole counsel of God and keeping myself unstained – God’s reputation and mine intact.

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Welcome to my blog.
I spend half my life in coffee shops having honest conversations about how following Jesus works in real life. So, let’s learn together, grab a cup and join the conversation.

This edition from Simon and Schuster has been totally revised with expanded teachings and a study guide. Available in stores and online now!

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Is Cohabitation a Sin?
Posted by Clare
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I spend a good deal of my time spiritually mentoring 20-30 year old men, often single. And I’m still shocked when they freely disclose, without a hint of embarrassment, that they’re living with their girlfriend. I’d expect this indifference to violating God’s moral laws from non-Christians. But, I often get the same response from men raised in Christian homes and who actually attend church with their girlfriends!

So, why is this happening and how can you frame the discussion for your own cohabitating children, grandchildren or the singles you’re mentoring? Here’s how I try to address this issue.

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5 Ways to be a Better Priest
Posted by Clare
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Evangelicals almost never talk about their priesthood. And, I’m not referring to those men in robes and vestments standing in front of church, leading worship and dispensing the sacraments, as in the Catholic Church.

I’m talking about you and me! And every born-again Christian – priests.

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.” 1 Peter 1:9

The Holy Spirit, speaking through Paul, is introducing one of the most radical ideas ever, in any religion. That every born-again Christian is a priest! Prior to that, all religions had a class of spiritual leaders who believed they were intermediaries between the people and the gods. And this religious class perpetuated that idea because it kept them in power and control.

In the case of Israel, the priesthood actually was God’s idea, not mans. But with Christ’s death, the priesthood in Israel ended because Jesus became our forever high priest. “Now the main point of what we are saying is this: We do have such a high priest, who sat down at the right hand of the throne of the Majesty in heaven, and who serves in the sanctuary, the true tabernacle set up by the Lord, not by a mere human being.” Hebrews 8:1,2

Priests on earth
So, while Christ is our heavenly priest, on earth we are his priests. However, we don’t stand between God and man as priests of old did. There is no human being, no pastor, no elder, no religious leader, we need as an intermediary between Jesus and us. Yes, there are elders and pastors assigned to lead churches, but they no longer stand between God and us. Christians have direct access to God, because we are all priests of God! So if we don’t stand between God and man, what is our purpose? To serve God, by serving humans – not to stand above them, but to stand alongside of them!

Here are 5 ways you and I can be better priests.

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Serving With a Bad Attitude
Posted by Clare
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I’ve been asked many times if it’s wrong to serve, if our hearts are not really in it.

I hope not.

Perhaps half the time I’m serving others, I do so without any great excitement and occasionally with real reluctance. Jesus told this story that get’s right to this point.

“What do you think? There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work today in the vineyard.’
‘I will not,’ he answered, but later he changed his mind and went.

Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, ‘I will, sir,’ but he did not go.

Which of the two did what his father wanted? ‘The first,’ they answered. Jesus said to them, ‘Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you.’” Matthew 21:28-31

Would Jesus prefer we serve, with a great attitude? Of course he would! But in the end, obedience, even without enthusiasm, is better than disobedience. But why is it I, and perhaps you as well, enjoy serving some people but not others?

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Jump-Starting Your Spiritual Life
Posted by Clare
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If you have a spiritually indifferent older child or adult, here’s an idea for Mother’s Day.

When I found out I had lymphoma cancer 35 years ago, my world and my worldview fell apart. I’d gone to church and Christian schools all my life. As I said in the Introduction of my book, The 10 Second Rule;

Up until age thirty-one, I was your standard-issue Christian–the kind the Christian schools and churches in our conservative little town pounded out year after year like spiritual Model Ts–mostly in one color: beige. We were covenant children. We figured we came with a cradle-to-grave salvational warranty.

And in the midsixties, high school seniors in my church were expected to make a public profession of their faith unless they were atheists or Democrats. I was neither. But I had no fire in my belly for God.

Nevertheless, that June I became an official Christian.
It was one of the worst mistakes of my life.
In my mind I had my get-out-of-hell-free card. I just needed to keep loving God (whatever that meant), love others, attend church regularly, serve, give, keep a lid on the public sin in my life, and pray. I’d grown up in the church; I knew what was expected, and I did it. One more beige Christian parked in the pews waiting for my weekly fill-up.

So, when the doctor told me I had 5-9 years to live, my beige faith was no comfort at all! So I went to a pastor friend of mine for advice. I told him I felt “stuck” spiritually, but had no idea how to get more God in my life. And here it was his advice;

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